Monday, January 31, 2011

Fine Line

In my mere five weeks of engagement, I've already learned quite a bit about the "fine lines" of wedding planning. Apologies upfront for a slightly lengthy post with no pictures... but here's my top 4 -

1. The fine line of being a calm, cool, collected bride... or a bridezilla
While I will call my dream wedding "laid-back" and "natural/organic/not super matchy" until I'm blue in the face, the truth is that I still have a vision of quite literally every single detail of my big day... and I am prepared (and honestly quite ecstatic) to do whatever it takes to make that vision a reality. So, in an effort to stay true to that, I've done things that aren't always "the norm" - like letting my bridesmaids pick their own dress style (in a matching color, fabric and length). But, what happens when I suddenly see their choices side by side and don't really love how it goes? What happens when one girl loves a 2-piece style but it's not available in my color? Or another chooses one I'm not insanely crazy about? Thankfully, I have amazing bridesmaids who will buy their 2nd choice for a dress because I like it better than their first, and so on. But, by having them do so, aren't I completely defeating the idea of letting them pick what they want? And, if I sway them the way I prefer am I just being a typical bride - or am I becoming a borderline bridezilla?

2. The fine line of registering for things we want and need... or appearing greedy
We've begun registries at a couple of the standard retailers, and have spent several hours in store and online having in-depth conversations about everything from the best vacuum cleaner for our household to our thoughts about flatware costing more than I could have ever imagined. After nearly 2 hours in Bed, Bath and Beyond last night and scanning practically everything I saw, I asked our helpful registry expert for her thoughts on how many things we actually need to pick out for our estimated 175 guests. Saying I was shocked at her response would be a drastic understatement - Apparently, we should register for 2-3 items PER expected guest... for a grand total of 400-500 wine glasses, vases, wooden spoons and more. She followed this up by telling us that after our extensive time in the store, we had scanned a whopping 51 things. Seriously? In talking to friends at work that are recently married, I've learned one new trick - look up their registries online for ideas and inspiration :). I've also learned that I need to get over my fear of looking greedy and just scan things! The worst thing that can happen? We don't get something we wanted and we buy it on our own later.

3. The fine line of chatty planning conversation... and oversharing
In my opinion, this revolves around the simple fact that outside of my mom, bridesmaids, and a few select others... nobody really cares to hear every single tiny little detail of what I'm planning for the big day. In reading wedding magazines I've also learned that telling everyone about everything you're planning kind of ruins any element of surprise for your guests when they get to the reception. What fun is it if they already know what your cake, centerpieces and decorations are all going to look like?

The part that I didn't realize (that I have not experienced yet but read about in more than a couple of places) is that the more you yap, the more likely it is that someone is going to copy your brilliant plan. And, then what happens when that person ends up walking down the aisle before you do? While I'd like to think I would be more flattered than annoyed if I saw my ideas elsewhere, I can't say I believe that's really how I would react. But, it's also important to remember that very few of my ideas are completely my own in the first place - I'm working with the wedding world at my fingertips thanks to all the inspiration available on the web! I'm not sure exactly how I'm supposed to run this dream wedding blog of mine if I'm trying to keep the details hidden, and knowing how much I love to talk in general I'm sure this may get tough... but I'll manage.

4. The fine line of staying on a budget... and not cutting corners that will negatively effect me/my wedding day
Everyone knows that we're on a tight budget for our wedding, and quite honestly, even if we weren't I couldn't imagine NOT looking for the most cost-effective way to execute everything. But, the integrity of our special day still needs to be made a priority, and there's certain things we're just not willing to scrimp on (such as our photographers, noted before!).

I had an experience yesterday that falls under that same "forget the budget, I'm doing this the right way" umbrella -
As expected, my ebay dress needs some extensive altering up top, and I mentioned before that the seamstress I went to estimated that all of her work would come in around $250-300. Always looking to see if there's a cheaper route, I took my dress to David's Bridal yesterday to see about having it altered there instead (the dress is originally from David's, or I wouldn't have been able to have it done there regardless). While I loved the chance to wear my dress for a little while and show it to some of my bridesmaids, I nearly lost it when the lady pinning up the straps pricked her finger, didn't notice, and then got 3 teeny bright red dots of  blood ON MY WEDDING DRESS. After I pointed it out she apologized, got the stain out and put on a bandaid right away, but not before I texted my mom from the fitting room and rushed her in to get the dress back in the garment bag and ready to get out of that store. The alterations quote, while significantly lower than the seamstress, was promptly thrown out when I left. I'll pay the extra money to insure the most important article of clothing I'll ever wear is taken care of and ready for me - spotless - on my wedding day.

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I'm sure as we continue to plan I'll also continue to learn. While I do still want to share some detail planning on this blog, I think I'll also focus on what I'm learning and experiencing personally!

236 days to go! :)

3 comments:

  1. It sounds like you already have a lot of the things that people would normally ask for in a wedding registry. Why not have one smaller registry for the household items that you still want/need and then put most of your items on a honeymoon registry. Two of my girlfriends did that and got most of their honeymoon paid for (one to Greece and one to Fiji). Most of the registry sites will let you register for things (i.e. nights at a hotel, dinner on the beach, massages, an excursion, etc) at a certain location and then send you a check (either direct deposit or in the mail) for the total amount and you can use it when you are ready. Just a thought.

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  2. Oh, and I can't help but be disappointed that you will not be blogging about the different details of your day. I love reading about your ideas! However I do see what you are saying about eliminating the surprise on the day if you blog about it. However, maybe you could put up similar ideas (like you did for your dress) so that those of us who are making our own "wedding wish-list folder" can get some good ideas. Your guests will still be surprised when they see everything come together in your colors and with your venues.

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  3. Thanks for the comments Suri!!! I will definitely still be writing about some details, just maybe not sharing exact pictures of my own personal projects. There is SO much inspiration out there that I'm sure I'll have plenty to continue writing about!!

    Good idea on the registry as well! We just started thinking about our honeymoon over the weekend and I already can't wait! :)

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