The Big Day - Part 2

A couple weeks before the wedding my mom started talking about how she would "take care of" myself and my bridesmaids getting to church from my gramma's house. Considering it's literally a 3 block trip, I joked around a lot about walking to church, but of course nobody was having that (looking back, I'm glad nobody listened to me on this one). While I was getting my hair done someone said "oh, the limo is here", which was when and how I found out my mom somehow swung getting a limo last minute, even though I was facing away from the window and couldn't see it. After rushing out of my gramma's house with Amanda behind me carrying the train of my dress I sort of just stood there by the limo and took it all in - and cried a little because I knew I was going to see Dan just a few minutes later.

Bev got appointed to help me get in and out of the limo, which I found amusing only because I would have just jumped in and shoved my dress in behind me, but seeing as we hadn't even made it to the ceremony yet I needed to at least pretend to try and keep my dress wrinkle-free. Kadence was sitting across from me and was in total awe of the fact that she was in a moving vehicle and didn't have to wear a seatbelt. Bev reminded me that I had asked her before the wedding if she would say a prayer with the girls before we left for church, and I'm so glad she remembered because it is literally one of my most vivid memories from the entire day, and it was the perfect moment to just stop and take a deep breath and have a minute with just my bridesmaids and flower girl. She of course threw a bit of humor into the prayer, which made it so perfectly Bev. She also made me relax with what can only be described as a breathing exercise, and for that I could not be more appreciative. I was grateful for those few minutes sitting next to her chatting and praying considering there were 160 other people around for the rest of the day.

I didn't realize that when I got to church my dad would be there waiting for me - all I had focused on was preparing myself to see Dan so when the limo door opened and I saw my mom crying and my dad about to, all of the breathing and relaxing was gone (sorry Bev) :). Our videographer caught me yelling "Mom!!! STOP!" from the limo when I saw her crying, and there's a funny shot of me fanning my face in an effort to not ruin my mascara when I saw my dad.

Mindy got me situated and brought me around to the "backyard" of the parish center where Dan was waiting with his back to me. It was quieter than I expected it would be, and I felt like it took forever to walk to Dan. Ben told him to turn around when I was a few feet away, and when he said "hi honey" I think I experienced every emotion imaginable in a matter of half a second before I was close enough to hug him. I got makeup all over the shoulder of his suit coat (and the shoulder of every other guy's suit coat that I hugged all day), so I'm sure Ben and Mindy got some funny shots of me trying to wipe off his coat while he attempted to get me to just leave it - which is so typical of our relationship I couldn't love the moment any more. I knew our first look would be a little awkward, and Ben had prepped me to have a few minutes of "us" time before having the "ok, now what..." feeling, and it was sort of exactly that - except that instead of "now what" I said "ok, I'm ok now" because I felt like I could finally breathe. Mindy posed us for a couple quick photos and the mood lightened a bit when a bug flew in my face and I had a very spastic reaction. Awesome.

I was rushed into the bathroom when I got over to church to avoid every single guest seeing me prior to my walk down the aisle. This was the moment I realized Mindy was right that it was ok I was a little late to see Dan - had I actually seen him at 1:00 when I was supposed to, I would have been REAL bored and antsy sitting in the bathroom for 45 minutes waiting for the ceremony to roll around! Thankfully I only had to sit for about 20 minutes, and the first half of that was spent with Allie, who I was excited to spend a little time with. I thought the lady that was supposed to be our "church coordinator" did a crappy job of getting everyone ready for the processional, but there are worse things that could have happened and again - the imperfection of it all was so "us" that I wouldn't have changed it anyways. I missed some things by trying to stay off to the side so people didn't see me, but I think Manda (who walked first) may have been the only bridesmaid to make it down the aisle how and when she was supposed to. Right after she walked we realized the kids were about to go, so there was a shuffle to get them to hold back and wait their turn. I realized Michael didn't have his "here comes the bride" sign so Bridget ran back into the church to find it. Kadence didn't want Erin to walk away without her, and Brendan jumped in to try and hold the kids back. The other girls did an awesome job of working around the commotion to get down the aisle, but I think it would have been amusing to see from the pews how it all looked. Michael got nervous and shy and started to cry, and Kadence quickly followed. I think they ended up both running down the aisle half in tears, but I didn't see it so I have no idea. I have no doubts the photos of this will be adorable.

They did the whole thing where the doors close so my dad and I could get situated, and then reopened for our "grand entrance". I'm surprised my dad didn't tell me I was hurting him because I was clutching onto his arm so tight. Although I would have liked to just stare at Dan and only Dan as I walked down the aisle, I knew well before the wedding that I am far too easily distracted for that, so I had a few people in my mind that I HAD to find in the crowd - if only for my own comfort and sanity. Amy was first and I spotted her bright face right away. The next were Dan's cousins who had promised me they would cover their eyes when I walked down the aisle because I was nervous about all of the attention I would have on me - I never did spot them to see if they really did this, but I have a feeling they'd forgotten seeing as we were all drinking when we had the original conversation. The last person I searched for was Lauren, who I found... and who was a mixture of smiling and crying and trying to hold it together... just. like. me. I had to look away because her crying only made me cry more, but knowing she was there was my first "ok I can relax" moment in church. And then I focused in on Dan, who looked so damn handsome in his suit (with a cleaned up shoulder) that I think I blushed when I caught his eye even though I had already seen him. The whole process of my dad giving me away and me hugging my mom while Dan hugged my dad and then switching was of course a little frazzled, but then we were standing at the altar and Father Larry was welcoming everyone.

I couldn't stop looking at Manda, who was up next to the piano with her guitar - she played when I walked down the aisle and it was honestly one of the most amazing parts of our day. She also played during the gathering song, and Dan and I just watched her and tried to smile and silently cheer her on because she was an emotional wreck (just like her big sister). I gave her a thumbs up when she finished and I think that was when we both finally started to relax a little bit.

To be continued...

(For the record, I had no intention of these recaps being so long... but I am loving reliving every moment of the wedding as it is in my mind, and will love looking back on all of these tiny details years from now when the memories are a little more fuzzy. So, bear with me) :)